When a person has one watch, they know the time. But when they possess multiple watches, certainty is lost. Multiple watches don’t offer more accuracy; instead, they erode the owner’s confidence in knowing the correct time. The solution is to choose one trusted watch, calibrate it well, use it as your standard, and follow its guidance. This “Watch Theorem” offers insights, especially when applied to life and marriage. If everyone could “choose what you love, and love what you choose,” peace of mind could be found regardless of success or failure. Yet, many are troubled by being pulled in multiple directions by their “N watches,” feeling overwhelmed and unsure which one to trust.
Mr. Zeng, a man in his prime at around forty (“a flower at forty-one”), flew in specially from Guangdong for a comprehensive consultation, seeking to unravel the doubts hidden deep within his heart.
“Could you please look at my career first?” Mr. Zeng began.
“You’re in real estate,” I started after analyzing his Qi Men Dun Jia chart. “You’re only utilizing about 20% of your potential. Your aspirations are high but difficult to achieve. Your career is currently at a low point, but the trend is upwards from here; the situation will improve day by day. You are suited for collaboration and win-win partnerships. This industry is decent for you; you can make money. However, the platform is largely occupied by your competitors, leaving you only a small share to capture. Furthermore, due to macro-policy impacts, your business performance fluctuates.”
“You’re absolutely right; that’s exactly my current situation,” Mr. Zeng nodded. “I’ve hit a bottleneck in operations and don’t know how to break through. Please enlighten me.”
“Your current predicament is related to your environment,” I explained. “North of your residence, there’s a hospital. Also, on the north side of your house, you keep books, papers, and medicines. There’s a crack high up on the north wall, and there’s something that makes noise located to the north.”
“There is a hospital to the north! And yes, papers and medicine on the north side of the house, and a crack on the wall too! How did you know all this?” Mr. Zeng inquired, astonished.
“All your information is reflected in the Qi Men Dun Jia chart,” I replied. “Both you and your wife have a black mole on your lower bodies. Regarding your ancestral grave (阴宅), there’s a relatively large, straight tree to its northeast that isn’t growing well. There’s also a hole that has collected water in the northeast section of the burial ground. This kind of grave site isn’t helping you; in fact, it’s hindering your progress.”
“How can these issues be resolved?”
“I will select an auspicious time for you to repair the crack in your home’s wall and fill the hole at the gravesite. This should resolve these problems. The time window is between 1 PM and 5 PM.”
“Okay, I’ll arrange it when I get back.”
“Your southwest-facing balcony is cluttered and blocked, with too much miscellaneous stuff (杂物) piled in the corners. There are also several drains or sewer access points in the southwest direction.”
“Correct,” Mr. Zeng simply nodded again.
“Tidy up the balcony thoroughly when you return.”
“Okay, I definitely will.”
“Additionally,” I continued the analysis, “Your stomach isn’t well; you likely have superficial gastritis. You also have prostatitis.”
“These are old problems of mine,” he sighed. “They never seem to get fully cured. I don’t know what else to do. Can they be fixed?”
“If you implement the adjustments I mentioned earlier, these health issues should gradually improve. They are illnesses provoked by your environment.”
“I’ll remember that. Could you look at my marriage now?” Mr. Zeng shifted the topic to his main concern.
“From the chart, your ‘peach blossom luck’ (桃花运 – luck in romance) is strong, and you have considerable ‘luck with women’ (艳福不浅),” I said, slightly teasingly. “Your marriage could be described by the idiom: ‘The red flag at home doesn’t fall, while colorful flags flutter outside’ (家里红旗不倒，家外彩旗飘飘 – meaning having a wife and mistresses).”
“Hehehe…” Mr. Zeng just chuckled.
“You have one wife and three mistresses. Between you and your wife, you each go your own way without interfering in the other’s affairs. You have your ‘flowers’ outside, and she has ‘leaned over the garden wall’ (红杏出墙 – idiom for a wife having an affair). There’s no real connection left in your marital life. She is also an open personality, straightforward, somewhat masculine, likes to nitpick, and speaks her mind directly, which doesn’t satisfy your deep-seated ‘great man complex’ (大男子情结 – need for a more traditional dynamic). This led you to your first mistress.”
“Within your company,” I continued, “There’s a young lady in a secretarial role. She’s cute, petite, sensual, charming, fiery inside, in her prime, and possesses a powerful allure. You couldn’t resist her unspoken temptation. She inserted herself like a nail (丁子) into your heart and between you and your wife. Cupid’s arrow hit you around 2018. However, this person constantly finds ways to ask for your money. You maintain an on-and-off connection with her; the emotional threads persist. You shuttle between them, seemingly enjoying it.” I watched his reaction.
“Hehehe…” He chuckled again.
I went on: “In 2020 and 2021, you intensified your pursuit of ‘flowers,’ acquiring two more ‘varied blooms’ simultaneously. One is gentle and delicate, with tenderness like water, yet also fiery, bold, and passionate, with excellent skills in intimacy, making you feel truly ‘like a man.’ This is your second mistress.”
“Hahaha…” Mr. Zeng burst into laughter.
“At the same time, you were also ‘latched onto’ (傍) by someone else. This person is very close to you geographically. You have a secret affair; the connection is deep, harmonious like well-tuned instruments (琴瑟和谐), mutually affectionate (情投意合), inseparable like glue (如胶似漆). Your passion runs high (打得火热); a day apart feels like years (一日不见如隔三秋). You meet frequently in secret, genuinely wanting a love that lasts till old age (天长地久到白头), entangled like ‘wind and sand, wandering the world together’ (你是风儿我是沙，缠缠绵绵走天涯 – popular song lyrics). This woman is your ‘Little Four’ (小四儿 – slang for fourth mistress).” I paused, smiling at Mr. Zeng.
Mr. Zeng listened, captivated, his expression somewhat frozen. He couldn’t believe his ears: how could this person across from him know his ‘good deeds,’ which no third party knew, so clearly, as if witnessing them firsthand? Was he a deity?
He had perhaps forgotten the old saying: “If you don’t want the spirits to know, don’t do it.” No wonder, at just forty, he was already suffering from kidney deficiency (肾虚 – often linked in TCM to exhaustion/excess) and prostatitis.
“You have no privacy before Qi Men Dun Jia,” I stated. “All your information is here. If you don’t believe me, continue asking…” I put him on the spot.
“No more questions, no more! I’m utterly convinced. Qi Men Dun Jia is truly magical!” Mr. Zeng gave a wry smile, perhaps hoping for a solution that could satisfy everyone. “Given my current situation, what do you think I should do?”
“Isn’t there the saying, ‘Red flag at home doesn’t fall, colorful flags flutter outside’?” I replied playfully. “Honestly, how you should act depends entirely on your own heart. Why ask others?”
“Sigh, yes, yes…” Mr. Zeng shook his intelligent head helplessly.
“Let me tell you a story,” I offered. “A young monk was constantly troubled because he couldn’t decide which path of cultivation to commit to. He switched practices frequently without making progress. He sought his master’s advice. The master lit three identical candles and placed them before him. ‘Which candle is the brightest?’ the master asked. Looking at the burning candles, the monk saw that the one closest to him was the brightest. The master then swapped the farthest candle with the nearest one and asked again, ‘Now, which is the brightest?’ Recognition flashed in the monk’s eyes, enlightenment struck, and he exclaimed excitedly, ‘Master, I understand!'”
—Who, then, is the brightest candle in Mr. Zeng’s heart?
